Marc Dann used to hang out where?

My Dec. 25 print edition column:

It’s Christmas morning, which means that many readers probably are opening gifts or recovering from hangovers. So my guess is that most people aren’t going to even read this column, which, I have to say, is a relief. Because I have a confession to make, and it’s not one I’m proud of.

On several occasions, I’ve hung out in Columbus at a bar called Zeno’s. If’ you’ve ever been to Zeno’s, well, you know. But if you haven’t, take my word that it’s not a place any upstanding member of the community should visit. It sure is fun, though.

Having walked into Zeno’s, I apparently have something in common with former Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann, a Democrat. You see, according to a report released earlier this week chronicling Dann’s pathetic management of the attorney general’s office, Dann was hanging out at Zeno’s when he came across Jessica Utovich. He later hired Utovich as his scheduler and had an affair with her. Dann and I have company in our selection of raunchy night spots; according to a Columbus Dispatch article from 2005, former U.S. Rep. Bob Ney, who represented much of southeast Ohio in Congress earlier this decade before being sent to federal prison for corruption, used to go to Zeno’s as well.

The tidbit about Zeno’s is but a small detail in state Inspector General Thomas P. Charles’ damning report about Dann and his disastrous tenure as Ohio’s top lawyer. The report documents how, under Dann, the attorney general’s office fell into an appalling state of debauchery, cronyism and incompetence.

Much of it is, I think, comical. I mean, that is, if one can laugh at the debasing of a bedrock foundation of this state’s government. (I can!)

Dann and his Youngstown goon squad — communications director Leo Jennings and general services director Anthony Gutierrez, among others —hired staffers the way the Dallas Cowboys hire cheerleaders. Brains and qualifications were trumped by, umm, certain other considerations:

“Dann hired into his office a coterie of young women who were dubbed ‘the Dannettes.’ So unprofessional was the dress and conduct of some of these women that a project assistant in the office was assigned to conduct etiquette classes for them,” according to the report.

Gutierrez, who began Dann’s downfall when he was accused of sexual harassment, is the report’s most pathetic case. A Dann crony, he reportedly intimidated staffers by “referring to his alleged Youngstown mob connections and claiming that he associated with people who could have (others) buried in concrete.” Gutierrez, who apparently modeled himself after Al Pacino in that awful “Dick Tracy” movie, made about $87,500 per year.

The entire office seemed to be run like Satriale’s pork store from “The Sopranos”:

“Displeasure with subordinates, we were told, was expressed by screaming, yelling, breaking phones and other office property and by backing up individuals against walls and threatening them.”

And I’m just noting the instances of intimidation and lewd conduct. The more serious parts of the report deal with Dann’s misuse of campaign funds — Dann used them as a “personal honey pot,” the report claims — and his disgusting disdain for taxpayers’ money. For instance, Dann allowed Gutierrez to spend $1.9 million to buy 99 vehicles for the office, which was a “waste of state funds,” according to the report. Dann also reportedly passed out Blackberry devices like candy, which cost the state almost $30,000 per month.

Attorney General-elect Richard Cordray, also a Democrat, will take over the office next month. Dann’s is not a tough act to follow.

All Cordray needs to do is keep his nose clean. Oh, and stay away from Zeno’s.